Tips & Techniques

How I Eat Eggs

I had no idea that the way I eat eggs is weird until I went out for breakfast with a friend when I was a child and they made fun of me.

I used to spend lots of time as a child visiting my grandparents and my grandmother was a firm believer in eating eggs every morning. She tried to get me on side with “eggs and soldiers” (toast fingers dipped in a soft boiled egg, held aloft in a kitschy egg cup) but I never really liked them that way.

I liked them the way she made them: poached, then you chop the eggs up, mix the chopped eggs with butter and pepper, and you load this mixture on to a piece of buttered toast (In her case, Cracked Wheat toast, or Scottish style home made Plain Bread.)

This is still my go-to way of eating eggs. I get a bit upset when diners and breakfast places “don’t do poached,” because that means no Grandma eggs, and no Eggs Benedict. (Eggs Benedict being the King of egg dishes.)

Omelettes are only good if they’re very expensive or very cheap. Anything in the middle is awful.

Scrambled eggs are for hangovers and IKEA restaurants.

I can be persuaded to eat a fried egg, but I prefer them Catalan Style (cooked in a screaming hot pan with olive oil.)

Any other types of eggs are unknown to me and thus rubbish until proven otherwise.

If you’ve never tried your eggs this way, and you like poached eggs, give them a shot. I poach mine so they are still about halfway runny, which produces the best “sauce” when mixed with the butter and pepper. (Sometimes I add hot sauce.)

I generally eat these on Sourdough toast toasted well, as I haven’t been able to locate Cracked Wheat Bread since I was a teen.

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One Comment

  1. To put more of a lunch spin on poached eggs, I like to chop them up (same consistency as you for the “sauce”) with black beans and a little salsa. I’ll throw in a few chopped black olives if I have some in the fridge as well. A tiny bit of sour cream is optional. One of my favorite quick meals that comes together in just a few minutes.

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